When it comes to taking care of business in our lives order to live fully while we’re here, these ideas of surrender and forgiveness keep coming up. This past summer I researched some of the ancient Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono, which I find holds some serious wisdom in regards to settling issues in the family and beyond. This may be particularly pertinent this time of year and in regards to the obvious conflict that is going on in general. The most important aspect of Ho’oponopono that we can bring into our modern times I feel is:
~We must go back to the source of the problem in order to correct what has been done~
Nothing ever goes away if it’s not addressed, it becomes a tangled mess that is nonfunctional. That mess becoming more obvious lately may not be a bad thing, we may be closer to ‘getting to the source.’ (On a smaller scale, in the case of family triggers over the holidays, it may be helpful to refer to this practice in order to untie what has been done while we still have the opportunity.)
Mary Kawena Pukui described Ho’oponopono as: “setting to right; to make right; to correct; to restore and maintain good relationships among family, and family-and-supernatural powers. The specific family conference in which relationships were ‘set right’ through prayer, discussion, confession, repentance, and mutual restitution and forgiveness.” From the book Nānā I Ke Kumu- Look to the Source.
Some of this practice from Nānā I Ke Kumu:
• A statement of the obvious problem to be solved or prevented from growing worse
• The “setting to rights” of each successive problem that becomes apparent during the course of ho’oponopono, even though this might make a series of ho’oponoponos necessary
• Self-scrutiny and discussion of individual conduct, attitudes and emotions
• A quality of absolute truthfulness and sincerity. Hawaii called this ‘oia’i’o, the “very spirit of truth”
• Immediate restitution or arrangements to make restitution as soon as possible
• Mutual forgiveness and releasing from the guilts, grudges, and tensions
• Nearly always, the leader called for periods of silence called ho’omalu. Ho’omalu was invoked to calm tempers, encourage self-inquiry into actions, motives and feelings, or simply for rest during an all-day ho’oponopono. And once the dispute was settled, the leader decreed ho’omalu for the whole subject, both immediately and long after ho’oponopono ended.
• Closing rituals: ... followed by ‘aha ‘aina - feast.
...
Attitudes needed for the Ho’oponopono:
• The basic belief that problems could be resolved definitely if they were approached properly; must be approached with a true intention to correct wrongs
• Confession of error must be full and honest
• Nothing could be withheld
• Prayers, contrition, and the forgiving-freeing of kala* must come from the heart
*the significant use of “free” and “loosen” rather than to forget is discussed under kala
It may not be feasible for us to engage in this specific family conference, and it would be idealistic to say that every person would be willing to bring forth these qualities and attitudes. I have found it helpful to call on these principles and qualities even in small conflicts, and to remember that the conflict isn’t always what it seems like it is about. Whether it is something within ourselves, with those around us, or in our country, we won’t settle anything without looking to the source.
What I find most freeing is the idea of "Kala," the decision to untie it & let it go...
“Its power and influence lies in the recognition of our basic humanity and the need for healing in every moment of our lives.”
~Malcom Nāea Chun
~We must go back to the source of the problem in order to correct what has been done~
Nothing ever goes away if it’s not addressed, it becomes a tangled mess that is nonfunctional. That mess becoming more obvious lately may not be a bad thing, we may be closer to ‘getting to the source.’ (On a smaller scale, in the case of family triggers over the holidays, it may be helpful to refer to this practice in order to untie what has been done while we still have the opportunity.)
Mary Kawena Pukui described Ho’oponopono as: “setting to right; to make right; to correct; to restore and maintain good relationships among family, and family-and-supernatural powers. The specific family conference in which relationships were ‘set right’ through prayer, discussion, confession, repentance, and mutual restitution and forgiveness.” From the book Nānā I Ke Kumu- Look to the Source.
Some of this practice from Nānā I Ke Kumu:
• A statement of the obvious problem to be solved or prevented from growing worse
• The “setting to rights” of each successive problem that becomes apparent during the course of ho’oponopono, even though this might make a series of ho’oponoponos necessary
• Self-scrutiny and discussion of individual conduct, attitudes and emotions
• A quality of absolute truthfulness and sincerity. Hawaii called this ‘oia’i’o, the “very spirit of truth”
• Immediate restitution or arrangements to make restitution as soon as possible
• Mutual forgiveness and releasing from the guilts, grudges, and tensions
• Nearly always, the leader called for periods of silence called ho’omalu. Ho’omalu was invoked to calm tempers, encourage self-inquiry into actions, motives and feelings, or simply for rest during an all-day ho’oponopono. And once the dispute was settled, the leader decreed ho’omalu for the whole subject, both immediately and long after ho’oponopono ended.
• Closing rituals: ... followed by ‘aha ‘aina - feast.
...
Attitudes needed for the Ho’oponopono:
• The basic belief that problems could be resolved definitely if they were approached properly; must be approached with a true intention to correct wrongs
• Confession of error must be full and honest
• Nothing could be withheld
• Prayers, contrition, and the forgiving-freeing of kala* must come from the heart
*the significant use of “free” and “loosen” rather than to forget is discussed under kala
It may not be feasible for us to engage in this specific family conference, and it would be idealistic to say that every person would be willing to bring forth these qualities and attitudes. I have found it helpful to call on these principles and qualities even in small conflicts, and to remember that the conflict isn’t always what it seems like it is about. Whether it is something within ourselves, with those around us, or in our country, we won’t settle anything without looking to the source.
What I find most freeing is the idea of "Kala," the decision to untie it & let it go...
“Its power and influence lies in the recognition of our basic humanity and the need for healing in every moment of our lives.”
~Malcom Nāea Chun
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