An amazingly revealing conversation with my best friend recently opened me up to the idea of authenticity on another level. I have a special relationship with this friend for which I am extremely grateful. We share many of the same feelings regarding how to live life and have helped support each other escape the default life in a way in which we mutually feel our lives have been completely changed by our relationship. We can tell one another truthful things that may even be difficult to say- like note when the other person should be taking responsibility for something in life when they’re not or how we really feel about the person they’re dating. We’ve gotten to the point in which we can do so with little to no offense taken since we know that it’s for our growth. Yet her life path sent her to Hollywood to pursue her dreams while mine took me to Hawaii to live in a jungle hut in a wild hippy village. But at the same time we find ourselves learning strikingly similar lessons along the way- whether that’s in regards to relationships, job situations, or major shifts/realizations- to the point that it’s a little freaky. She’s a soul friend on another level. But anyways….
We had this conversation last night in which we both revealed things which we were afraid to say- mostly out of fear of hurting the other person. These were things in our relationship that used to work for us that are just starting to feel out-dated. I at first was afraid to her that I no longer felt comfortable sharing all of the ups and downs of what we are going through so often. I am in this place now where I recognize how fleeting human emotions are and feel that it’s often just not worth going in to. It turns out it’s been obvious to her for a couple weeks-months that something didn’t feel right in regards to this- but she couldn’t place it because I wasn’t saying it. I was trying to hold on to what used to work for us for our “benefit.” But that doesn’t benefit anybody because that withholding comes through in some way. She could tell I felt anxious when talking to her, but she didn’t know the cause. If you let that sort of thing go on long enough I believe it can cause a rift in a friendship. When we are not authentic, it just doesn't work. Any of it, the truth always has some way of shining through. This stuff is seriously so amazing when you think about it. We suffer when we hide, that is no accident... I can’t help but believe in some universal force when considering this apparent law. It doesn’t matter how hard we try it’s just not going to work. It’s the reason that when we get caught up in the Dogma and try so hard to appear to be successful to other people our true suffering is revealed in other ways- like Ego domination, bouts of anger, and being overweight. Depression & anxiety medication, domestic assault, obesity. You can try all of the tactics to appear to be okay and for some people they may even fall for all of that BS. But there is no denying that so many people whom appear to have everything are totally suffering. And some people that have everything are thriving because the desire for that came from a real place. Authenticity is just one of the factors contributing to all of these problems, I believe. But just to sum up, I don’t think that we can thrive fully until we get real with others and ourselves.
We had this conversation last night in which we both revealed things which we were afraid to say- mostly out of fear of hurting the other person. These were things in our relationship that used to work for us that are just starting to feel out-dated. I at first was afraid to her that I no longer felt comfortable sharing all of the ups and downs of what we are going through so often. I am in this place now where I recognize how fleeting human emotions are and feel that it’s often just not worth going in to. It turns out it’s been obvious to her for a couple weeks-months that something didn’t feel right in regards to this- but she couldn’t place it because I wasn’t saying it. I was trying to hold on to what used to work for us for our “benefit.” But that doesn’t benefit anybody because that withholding comes through in some way. She could tell I felt anxious when talking to her, but she didn’t know the cause. If you let that sort of thing go on long enough I believe it can cause a rift in a friendship. When we are not authentic, it just doesn't work. Any of it, the truth always has some way of shining through. This stuff is seriously so amazing when you think about it. We suffer when we hide, that is no accident... I can’t help but believe in some universal force when considering this apparent law. It doesn’t matter how hard we try it’s just not going to work. It’s the reason that when we get caught up in the Dogma and try so hard to appear to be successful to other people our true suffering is revealed in other ways- like Ego domination, bouts of anger, and being overweight. Depression & anxiety medication, domestic assault, obesity. You can try all of the tactics to appear to be okay and for some people they may even fall for all of that BS. But there is no denying that so many people whom appear to have everything are totally suffering. And some people that have everything are thriving because the desire for that came from a real place. Authenticity is just one of the factors contributing to all of these problems, I believe. But just to sum up, I don’t think that we can thrive fully until we get real with others and ourselves.
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