Alive for Now: Using Death as a Teacher to Thrive in Life
“This is one of the most insightful and deeply truthful things I've read...”
-Laura Miner, Hospice Liaison, Maui, HI
I keep getting the message to function at a high vibration. I pulled the “Goddess” card the other night when I asked which direction to go with my life. What I really wanted the cards/ reader to tell me was specific information on which action step to take next to get a job. Instead I get the whole, embrace your femininity, feel good, and the abundance will come thing. It is such a paradoxical concept to surrender and allow in order to manifest things into your life. Especially in the western world. But I decided to try it out…
I believe that our work, not to say it won’t challenging, but will be much more enjoyable when it is aligned with our purpose. And you can only real know what that is by a feeling inside. When it is truly aligned we can also be more efficient and function at a high vibration each day. This can be something big or small, I believe there is nothing wrong with humble work in the direction of our dreams, even when there are no guarantees. I prefer that to more lucrative work that is out of flow, as I believe that kills us inside, not to sound too dramatic.
I came to Maui with the hopes of getting this job caregiving for autistic adults. I had actually set the intention that I would like to work with people with disabilities on a farm prior to seeing that the position was available. I received the opportunity to do this work, and then realized immediately that it wasn’t what I truly wanted. Somewhere deeper though I knew that this wasn’t my dream from the beginning, just the dream I thought I should have, because of my background and schooling. I realized that I simply thought it sounded good for me to do that sort of thing. These are very subtle things to grasp, that the motivation may have been coming from some perceived societal pressure, or conditioning. I trialed the position for one day, and had to let it go. With letting that go, I was letting go of the benefits of free housing, food, and a monthly stipend. And by the way, at a time when I wasn’t in the best of financial situations.
It was not easy to let go. At the same time, I was in a place that I was realizing the power of my mind to bring this opportunity forth, so I decided I should be very clear on what it is I truly want. I took time to write that down. I then decided to go to a wellness retreat center that I had a very good feeling about. I thought I might look crazy showing up there, but I did it anyway. I met the receptionist who I got a very good feel from immediately. He gave me the general Manager’s email, who asked for my resume. I had a great interview with her. They just happen to growing and have the possibility of needing a front of house manager for their kitchen, something that I have some experience with. It felt so refreshing to be able to be so honest in an interview. The fact that I truly love what their establishment provides for people, that the interests of the guests that attend retreats there are many of the same as mine- yoga, meditation, wellness, etc.
I know the importance more than ever of my being in an environment of health, yet in the past I've worked mainly in toxic environments of bars and hospitals. Stepping out of what I'm used to has been a challenge but I can't wait to see what is to come...stay tuned!
Jessica Murby is a Hospice Liaison, Occupational Therapist, lover of life, and acro yogi. She unexpectedly came upon the benefits of using death as teacher through her clinical experience and through navigating illness herself. She is part of a lifelong research study at the National Institutes of Health (N.I.H.). Jessica currently splits her time between her roots in New England and the beautiful island of Maui. She shares her unique work most anywhere she’s invited to through public speaking, writing, and workshops.