Feel free to reach out to me with any questions 💖🙏🙂
I recently attended a workshop on creating more inclusive spaces in offering events. The facilitator recommended that we write out our biases about various races on a piece of paper, the first second after receiving this idea I thought ‘I can’t do that’ ‘Is that allowed?’ ‘What if somebody finds it?!’ He suggested that by doing so we get in touch with the unconscious biases we are bringing to the table in our interactions. The next moment, I realized I’ve been suppressing those biases, yet I was just about to facilitate a workshop on the value of not suppressing death. The reason I do the work I do with ‘Alive for Now’ is that it seems to be common to believe avoiding death is a good thing, yet if we’re not in touch with the reality of it, I’ve discovered that it may have a negative hold on us in ways that aren’t apparent until it’s too late. I was brought back to the notion that it’s ultimately not serving to suppress anything, that when we do we’ll then act out of the unconscious / shadow. Coming from that place of fear might show up in all kinds of sneaky ways we’re unaware of. And then, related to that, something unexpected happened...
As participants, many of us related how
our unserving social conditioning is revealed in regards to end-of-life matters to
our approaches (or lack thereof) in addressing racial inequality
It’s not easy to sum this up… my article on The Death of Femininity covers what I mean re: how our unserving social conditioning may cause unnecessary suffering to ourselves and others when going through grief or illness or dying. (And interesting how it relates to issues of gender inequality as well now that I think about it). I include in that article...
‘We tend to place an immense amount of importance on
having an answer
doing something to fix a problem
being in control
making sense of everything
These are mainly masculine qualities. They are important qualities, and certainly have their place. A balance of those with feminine virtues is what I find to be dangerously lacking…’
I include in the article unintentional hurtful things we may do out of this wacko conditioning that we often presume to be normal. I’m still working with the question… Could this relate to the equally taboo subject of racial inequality? In that we could benefit from approaching these interactions by leaning into more…
Jessica Murby is a Hospice Liaison, Occupational Therapist, lover of life, and acro yogi. She unexpectedly came upon the benefits of using death as teacher through her clinical experience and through navigating illness herself. Jessica shares this work through public speaking, writing, and workshops.